Spring Blossoms as I sit here bewildered

Why do I feel this way? Why do I make decisions and then feel as if they r wrong? How come there r two paths? No matter how I look at it right now the one path is not right. With Reuben losing his job potentially and having no insurance... Oh BABY becomes Oh CRAP! So the only way I see is going to school. Why I am I scared of the distance? Why am I scared of leaving Cohen while I am in classes? Psychology is the right path right? Maybe some Criminal Justice in there also?? Why do I feel so down? Why cant I just be happy? God's Love should be enough. I feel restless and at the same time humble. I wish I didn't have to take meds to make me feel better. I wish I was ok. I really do want another baby and why does that cloud my vision. It shouldn't bc my logical part of me knows its not a good time. Plus I am not happy with myself and environment. It wouldn't be a good outcome. School is the best option. Everything will be fine... right?

Widows Dance

My life is so sad without u here

For u are far and I am near

But the miles seem endless in between

No smiles no glances

not even a reach

For what now do we do

or u have done

and I have not

People pass

they do not share

a comforting smile

a livid hello

So I go far

to a place I can b calm

so no one hears my cry

except the crashing waves and beating sun

Till night falls

and I see u again

In my dreams

There we smile

we glance

we touch so intimately

dance upon the stars

so close so together

never apart